#5 Try kayaking, paddleboating, or canoeing

This summer, I went on a ladies retreat to Lake Tahoe with some ladies from my church. While we were there, we were given some free time. It was the perfect opportunity to complete one of the items on my list: kayaking! My friend Trin, my sister-in-law Jennifer, and I found a company (and by company I mean a free spirited young man with a bunch of kayaks and a picnic table on the beach) that rented kayaks.

It was a really windy day, and the water was really choppy. There were a lot of sailboats out on the Lake, taking advantage of the wind. I got the widest kayak I could, as I’d never been before and wanted to reduce the risk of tipping as much as I could! It turns out, it’s not that hard to balance, so I didn’t tip. Because of the choppiness, however, I did get soaked by the frigid lake water! We paddled hard, watching sailboats go by, admiring the beauty of God‘s creation...but just going in circles.

You see, unfortunately, we weren’t allowed to go beyond large buoys that were floating in a circle, keeping us corralled in a small part of Lake Tahoe. Although it gave me a good taste of kayaking, I wanted to break out and GO somewhere, instead of just moving in a circle.

It wasn’t until later that night while laying in bed and reflecting on the day that I related this circle to my life. Sometimes I feel as though I’m just moving in a big circle. My life hasn’t really gone anywhere in 5 years. Our bible study group just started a new study in Proverbs. We are using the same workbook that I used when I led a young women’s bible study at my house five years ago. Instead of buying a new book, I found my old workbook tucked away on my bookshelf. I looked through it and read the prayer requests I’d jotted down in the margins of the pages, and reflected on what was going on in the lives of the small group of friends who came to my house on Thursday nights. We prayed for current relationships, future marriages, and future children. In the five years since, one of those girls got married, another is getting married this year. Two girls (who were already married then) now each have two children. Me? I’m still teaching. Still single. No babies.

Sometimes I feel like that part of the movie “Notting Hill” where Hugh Grant is walking through his neighborhood, and as he’s walking, the seasons are changing. Time is passing, leaves are falling, then snow is falling, then flowers are blooming, but he’s still just walking by himself through town, not really getting anywhere new, but watching the lives of others around him change.  Every Christmas, I hope maybe the next one will be different, that I won‘t be alone. Each birthday, I do the same, each Valentine’s Day and each summer vacation. 

If you ask anyone close to me, they’ll tell you I don’t like change. This is true…if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! But I feel broken. I’m ready for a change. But change at what cost, and on whose terms? I could have disregarded those buoys and paddled out into the lake, but there would have been consequences. Someone put those buoys out because they knew there were dangers in kayaking out into the open water. It was done for my own good. I try to remind myself of this when I get impatient with God’s plan in my life. He says he has plans for me…good ones.

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord.

  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give

 you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

I could disregard God’s will for my life. He’s given me the freedom to make that choice. I ran into an acquaintance from high school and she asked if I had kids. I told her, “No, I haven’t found the right man yet.” To which, she replied, “So? You can have kids without a man.” Yes, I suppose I could, but I don’t think that’s God’s will for me, so why would I want to? One of the largest obstacles in finding a husband is finding one who meets my first requirement: that he have a personal relationship with God. This narrows the field considerably. Would it be easier to find someone if I disregarded this criteria? Absolutely. But would it be worth it? No, because I want what God wants… even if His timing isn’t my timing, and, as much as it breaks my heart to say it (I‘m crying as I type this), even if it means I’ll be single for the rest of my life. I want what God has for me, because it’s the best.

So, until God removes the buoys, I’ll be kayaking in a circle. But while I’m kayaking in a circle, I’m going to be thankful for what God has done in my life over the past five years.  Now that I just spent several paragraphs bemoaning what he hasn’t done (in a very Eeyore-esque manner), I will focus on what He has done. 


Family:   I have a wonderful family who loves and supports unconditionally... and am blessed to live close to most of them.  I have an extended family of brothers and sisters in Christ that I get to meet with every Sunday and worship with. 

Friends:  I have some lifelong friends from my childhood and from college that are blessings in my life.  Unfortunately, they don't live close to me!  When I graduated from college (10 years ago...eek!) and moved back home, I didn’t feel like I “belonged” here...I hadn’t found my niche. But, during the course of the bible study I spoke of five years ago, God answered my prayers and blessed me with some treasures for friends. 

Health: Recently, I was reminded how much we take our health for granted. I am thankful that my loved ones and I are healthy. 

Employment:  Although I would like nothing more to stay home and raise a brood of babies, I’m not there yet and I need to provide for myself.  God has kept me employed through a very difficult time in the education system. I was layed off four years ago and found a job the following school year, where I have been since. March 15^th just came and went without even a hint of a pink slip with my name on it!

Grace: God loves me and He’s forgiven me. I get to spend forever with Him!

Nutella:  One of God's most glorious creations. 

Give thanks in all circumstances, for this

is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

#2 Find out how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop

I’m sure you remember this commercial for tootsie pops. A boy asks a wise owl how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop, and the owl sets out to count, but bites the tootsie pop when he gets to three licks. I’ve always wondered how many licks it would take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop.  However, like the owl, I was never patient enough to get to the center without biting into it. I decided that the year I was 30 was going to be the year I would overcome my impatience and lack of self control and answer this much pondered question for myself.

Many before me have tried to unlock the answer to this question as well. A study at Purdue University concluded that it took an average of 364 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop using a "licking machine", while it took an average of 252 licks when tried by 20 volunteers. Yet another study by the University of Michigan concluded that it takes 411 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. A study by students at Swarthmore College concluded that it takes a median of 144 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. 

In my own personal study, I found that it takes approximately 620 licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop. Why are there so many different outcomes? Well, there are a lot of variables involved. What exactly qualifies as “getting to the center” of the tootsie pop. Does it just mean the tootsie roll center is visible? Does it mean the a large portion of it is uncovered? Another variable to consider is that the tootsie roll center can’t be in the very center of every tootsie pop….if the tootsie roll isn’t centered, there will be more candy to get through on one side than the other. It’s difficult to agree on a result if clear parameters are set, but I sought out to find an answer for myself anyway.

I started counting like the owl does in the commercial, “A-one, A-two-hoo, A-three…”. I quickly decided that was fun but would take too long. So, I counted the licks in groups of 20 and recorded them on a talley sheet. I licked until a good sized portion of the tootsie roll was exposed. The total was 620 licks. Question answered. Mystery unraveled. If only all of life’s questions were as easy, or as tasty, to answer…

Watch 5 classic movies I've never seen

One summer, several years ago, my cousin Jeni and I watched as many classic films as we could get our hands on. I say several years ago because several is an ambiguous word. I used an ambiguous word because I can’t remember exactly what summer it was. It was a summer when we were both living at home, and I’m pretty sure I was finished with college. That would make it, most likely, the summer of 2003. (I’m a little perturbed that I’m getting old enough for these things to have gotten so fuzzy in my memory).

Jeni and I would rent a video from a local video store that had a variety of old films. This was before Netflix or Redbox. Blockbusters were still open. A couple of times a week, we would meet at her parents’ house to watch together. We started with the most famous films like Casablanca, An Affair to Remember, Some Like It Hot, and Breakfast at Tiffany’s. We looked for films with Cary Grant (a favorite of ours), Marilyn Monroe, Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn, Katherine Hepburn, Deborah Kerr, and Paul Newman (swoon). 

I loved watching these movies and have seen many since that summer with Jeni. I decided this year to continue growing my repertoire of classic films. I searched my channels for movies to record on my DVR. The movies I found aren’t extraordinarily famous, but they were gems nonetheless.

1. Small Town Girl - 1936 A man and a woman, after drinking a little too much, accidentally become married. They agree to pretend to stay married for 6 months then get a quiet divorce. Over the course of the 6 months, however, they fall in love.

2. I Could Go on Singing -1963 Judy Garland plays a famous singer who had an illegitimate son when she was younger. The boy was raised by his father, but they come in contact with one another some 13 years later.

3. The Philadelphia story -1940 Katherine Hepburn is a socialite who is about to marry when her ex-husband comes to visit with a tabloid reporter.

4. Move Over, Darling -1963 Doris Day is a woman who is stranded on a desert island for 5 years. She returns to find her husband (James Garner…hubba hubba) is having her declared legally dead so he can remarry. She meets her daughter for the first time and fights for her husband.

5. Listen, Darling -1938 A much younger Judy Garland is a teenager whose widowed mother is planning to marry a man no one likes just to support their family. Judy, her boyfriend, and her little brother, kidnap their mother in their travel trailer and hit the road to keep her from marrying. Along the way, in a campground, they meet someone they believe would be a better fit for their mother.

After watching dozens of classic films over the past 10 years, I’ve compiled a list of my favorites. If you love romance, handsome, chivalrous men, beautiful clothes, and intelligent dialogue, you should watch them!

My All Time Favorites

1. An Affair to Remember (Cary Grant, Deborah Kerr)

2. Sabrina (Humphrey Bogart, Audrey Hepburn)

3. Desk Set (Katherine Hepburn, Spencer Tracy)

4. How to Marry a Millionaire (Marilyn Monroe)

5. The Long, Hot Summer (Paul Newman)

6. Breakfast at Tiffany’s (Audrey Hepburn)

7. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (Marilyn Monroe)

8. The Philadelphia Story (Katherine Hepburn, Jimmy Stewart, Cary Grant)

9. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (Paul Newman, Elizabeth Taylor)

10. The Sound of Music (Julie Andrews, Christopher Plummer)

Happy Watching!

#15 Go a week without watching TV

Everything in moderation.

I’ve always been a bit of a couch potato. I love television. Movies, too. I have my shows that I watch regularly, characters that have become my “friends”. Some of you can relate, while others think I’m crazy. Although I love TV, I do know that everything is best in moderation. I decided that it was time for a little “TV Detox”. I thought maybe going without television for a week would help me decrease my TV intake.

The week of Thanksgiving (yes, I put this one off for nearly the entire year), I locked up my entertainment center and fasted from my television. I can’t tell you how many times I reached for my remote control to turn on my TV. It’s normally the first thing I do when I get home from work. Is there something specific that I watch when I get home from work? No. So why do I do it? Why do I turn the TV on if there’s nothing specific I want to watch? This week taught me what was at the root of my attachment to the television. Loneliness. I don’t like it to be too quiet. This week I visited some friends of mine. When they leave their dogs alone at home, they turn on Talk Radio. Their dogs don’t like the quiet either. Some people turn on music to cut the silence. I enjoy music, but I’ve never been as into it as many people are. I don’t even have an iPod. Or a working CD player for that matter. So, instead of music, I use TV to keep me company when I’m home alone. But not for these seven long days.

My TV locked up tight

So, what did I do during my TV fast? I thought that maybe I would be more productive. Do some cleaning, cook more, organize my closets, get to bed early. Nope. I’d like to say that I spent the time reading my bible and praying. That’s what I should have done. No, I read 5 books…traded one lazy activity for another. I enjoyed it, though! I even sat at my dining room table to eat dinner one night! That never happens because I usually eat on my couch and watch TV! I also got to appreciate the church bells that ring at the church down the street from me, marking the hours. They‘re usually drowned out by the sound of my television. When the quiet got to be too much, I used the Pandora music player online and listened to Christmas music. I found some great new Christmas songs.

While there were some positive aspects of my embargo on television, it magnified my "aloneness". The fact that I’m alone never escapes my mind. When something like this is always rattling around in your head, it doesn’t take much to bring it to the forefront. Those little colored rubber bands that come with your electric toothbrush…you use them to identify whose toothbrush head belongs to whom. I throw them away. A reminder. Filling out my filing status on the 1040 EZ. A reminder. Slipping and nearly falling while getting out of the shower and wondering, “How long would I lay here with a head injury before someone found me?”. A reminder.

A few years ago, I wanted to see a movie, but had no one to go with. So, for the first time, I mustered the courage to go to the movies by myself. It was at my town’s little theater and it was on a weekday.

I ordered my ticket, “One for Rent, please”.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can only play the movie if there are two or more patrons and so far you’re the only one who wants to watch that movie”.

I cried the whole way home, reminded.

The quiet in my house was another glaring reminder. I hear of moms all the time, locking the bathroom door just to get some peace and quiet. I have peace and quiet in spades…and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. While I do value a certain amount of alone time, too much of anything is never a good thing.

Everything in moderation.

#24 Sleep outside during a meteor shower

Growing up, in the fall, my family and I would brave the mosquitoes and the balmy air, wrap ourselves in bed sheets like mummies, and lay on the lawn to watch meteor showers. We’d lay there, waiting for a shooting star while the mosquitoes buzzed in our ears. Just as we were about to give up, one would streak by, giving us another dose of patience. This cycle would repeat itself until we couldn’t take the buzzing any longer. One night, I was driving my niece and nephews home from a movie during a meteor shower and they were captivated by the falling stars they saw out my car windows. I thought it would fun to spend a whole night outside during a meteor shower and fall asleep watching the stars.

So last spring, when I knew there was going to be a meteor shower, I took Lauren, Braden, and Braden’s friend Chris, to my parents on a Friday night with our sleeping bags in tow. As the sun set, we set up the cots and made up our beds in the middle of my parents’ driveway. My parents live about a mile out of town.  They're surrounded by farmland, so when the sun goes down, it's dark enough to see the stars!  When I would fly home from college for the weekend (from Southern California) and my mom would drive me home from the airport, I would get out of the car, breathe in the fresh, sweet smelling air, and look up at the sky.  It was the only time I got to see the stars.  They're something you start to take for granted when you see them all the time. 

My Bed

Once it was dark, we climbed into our beds to watch the show. My parents joined us for a while.  I had to leave my contacts in so that I could watch the stars as long as possible before finally succumbing to fatigue.  If I hadn't been wearing my contacts, I wouldn't have been able to see an asteroid the size of a garbage truck if it landed in the pasture next to us. That's just how blind I am.  Even with corrective lenses, I've never been very good at spotting things.  I was always the one in our family, when we went for drives in the hills, who couldn't see the deer or turkeys on the side of the road.  Despite my observational shortcomings, I saw several falling stars, and the boys claimed to have seen about 65 (mmmhhhmmmm…sure).


Lauren and I settled in and ready for the show

There’s nothing like the stars and the sky, or any natural wonder, to remind me of the majesty of God. One of my favorite passages that describes God’s “bigness” is in Job 38. Job is, as I have been known to do, questioning God’s plan. God comes to Job in a storm and responds with this:

Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
Tell me, if you understand.
Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know? (I love that God is sarcastic here!)
Who shut up the sea behind doors when it burst forth from the womb,
When I made the clouds its garment and wrapped it in thick darkness,
When I fixed limits for it and set its doors and bars in place,
When I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther; here is where your proud waves halt’?

Have you ever given orders to the morning, or show the dawn its place?
Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?

What is the way to the abode of light? And where does darkness reside?
Surely you know, for you were already born!

You have lived so many years! (again with the sarcasm! I love it!)
Can you bind the beautiful Pleiades? Can you loose the cords of Orion?
Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons or lead out the Bear with its cubs?
(The passage is longer than this, I just included my favorite parts. I encourage you to read the whole chapter!)

I found this passage one morning while on a retreat in Tahoe this summer. I hadn’t been able to sleep, so at dawn, I took my camera and my bible, and I went out to the edge of the lake and watched the sunrise. I found this verse there. 

Now, when I witness a wonder of God’s creation, or when I begin to think my plan would be better than God’s, I think of Job chapter 38. God obviously knows more than I do, what place do I have to question Him, the Creator of the Universe?

Did you ever try to count the stars when you were a kid?  I did.  If you're still trying as an adult, you should throw in the towel.  Our galaxy, the Milky Way, contains billions of stars.  If you were to count the stars in the Milky Way, one per second, it would take you 2,500 years.  And that's just the Milky Way, there are hundreds of billions of other galaxies like ours (at least that are known to man)!  It is truly mind boggling...and mighty humbling.  God created all this, and he loves ME and you!

"He brings out the starry host by number;

He calls all of them by name.

Because of His great power and strength,

not one of them is missing."

                                       Isaiah 40:26

I didn’t think the kids would make it through the night of star gazing without moving into the house. When I woke up at dawn, I thought they hadn’t made it, but they were there, just snuggled really deeply into their sleeping bags. I hope they recall that night someday and realize that God’s creation is big, but His love for them is even bigger. When we remember God's power, and we remember His love for us, we have no reason not to trust Him and His will for our lives. 

If you've never slept out under the stars, I highly recommend it!

#1 Grow out my fingernails and get a French Manicure

For as long as I can remember, I’ve bitten my fingernails. It’s a nasty habit, one I don’t even realize I’m doing when I’m doing it. I’ve tried stopping in the past, but I couldn’t seem to shake the habit. I put it on my list, determined to stop the chomping!

It’s really strange how easy it ended up being. It took focus for the first week or two, then once I saw a little success, I was encouraged and it became easier. I started growing them out in May, which turned out to be good timing, because apparently, nails grow faster in the summer! And I grew them out just in the nick of time. After the age of thirty, your fingernail growth slows down. Apparently, it’s all down hill from here.

I did have a few setbacks. I discovered I’m very rough on my hands. Several fingernails were broken while trying to open packages or by getting snagged on things. I also realized how often I had to clean them! I was constantly getting crud under them (of course, I was teaching kindergarten when I started growing them out, and kindergarten is messy business). I nearly started carrying a fingernail brush in my purse! 

I loved admiring them, though, when they were clean.  The bright white of my long nails would catch my eye at random times throughout the day and I would stop, stretch my hands out, and admire them for second or two.  I also found that I enjoyed drumming my nails on surfaces...and not just when I was bored as the action would normally suggest.  I drummed them on the steering wheel while I drove, my desk at work, and any other hard surface I happened to walk by. 

I’d heard about a kind of fingernail polish called shellac. It’s a very hard, durable polish that resembles the material that is used in acrylics, but goes over real fingernails. I decided that since I’m so hard on my nails, this was the finish I needed. I waited until I was in Portland so that I would have a beautiful French manicure for Jenn’s wedding.

I’d had a French manicure before. In eighth grade, as a graduation present, my three best friends surprised me with acrylic nails! Now, this was before it was a regular occurrence for 13 year old girls to get fake nails. It was very exciting! I thought then that maybe having the fake nails on would break my habit of biting my fingernails. No luck. But they were pretty while they lasted.

*I just bit a nail while trying to think of what to write next. See? I don’t even know it until it’s done. It’s a good thing I’ve never taken up smoking or drinking…to say I lack self control is an understatement.

So, when I went to Portland for Jenn’s wedding, Jenn and I, along with her two sisters, took a couple of hours out of the busyness of wedding preparations to get manicures and pedicures.

Pedicures

Manicures

Tada!

I have to admit, fingernails do for your hands what high heels do for your legs: they make them look longer and thinner. My stubby hands looked much prettier with some nicely manicured nails adorning them. And the tan I got for the wedding helped, too…

Unfortunately, immediately following the wedding, I spent a week camping at the beach (not the best setting for maintaining a manicure). It lasted for about two and a half weeks before the manicure got ratty looking and I took off the shellac. Without the protection of the shellac, my nails fell victim to my nasty habit once again. I haven’t grown them out since, but hope to again. They made me feel like a grown up….even if they did make texting and opening a can of soda really difficult.

31 Things to do while I'm 31

I know what you're thinking, "Really?  31?  What's so special about the year you're 31?"  Well, nothing really.  I don't even like being 31, mostly because it's an odd number and I have an irrational aversion to odd numbers (with the exception of multiples of 5).  But another reason being 31 isn't so great is because it means I'm truly, solidly in my thirties (sigh).  Thirty is exciting (at least to everyone around you who isn't turning 30), but nobody gets excited for  you when you say you're 31. 

But being 31 isn't why I've made a list again.  I'm doing it because I loved my thirty list!  I had so much fun, learned so much about myself and God's will for my life, and gained a new sense of purpose.  I spent some time this weekend with a friend who said that we should wake up everyday with purpose.  She's right, and this is something I have struggled with (unless I can count waking up on Saturdays intending to stay in my pajamas all day as a purpose).  I believe my ultimate purpose is to live my life for the Lord and to love the people he's placed in my life, but the bible says, "...whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" 1 Colossians 10:31.  Although the items on my list are small, together, they give me goals to work toward and make my life more interesting as I'm living out my bigger purpose for the Lord!

Here is my list of "Thirty-One Things To Do While I'm Thirty-One"

1. Castro Theater Sound of Music Sing along and/or Dueling Pianos at Johnny Foley's Pub

2. Have five friends teach me how to make their favorite dish (Taking volunteers!  It has to be something I will eat, as I'm trying to expand my repretoire of dishes)

3. Get jumper cables and learn to jump a car battery

4. Get a massage

5. Read a “Babysitter’s Club” book and relive my youth

6. Watch 5 movies from my youth (preferably with Jeni and Emily):
-My Father the Hero
-Far and Away
-Pure Country
-Speed
-A Walk in the Clouds

7. Try 5 new restaurants (taking suggestions!)

8. Learn to drive a stick shift

9. Go to Yosemite

10. Update the pictures in my frames

11.  Grow my own tomatoes

12. See a show (Wicked?)

13. Memorize 5 new bible verses

14. Camp by myself (not alone, but without my family to help me do everything)

15. Send a gift to Asnaku (World Vision adopted child) and her family

16. Plan a special day with Lauren (iFly? Repelling? Movie in Park?)

17. Plan a special day with Braden (Laser tag? Tandem bike? Caverns?)

18. Plan a special day with Grayson (Jelly Belly Factory? Go karts?)

19. Road Trip (destination unknown at the moment)

20. Buy an item of clothing that is out of my style boundaries

21. Make a scarf (knit or sew)

22. Take a picnic to the Monastery in Vina (Photograph it)

23. Watch a sunrise in a new, interesting place

24. Keep a prayer journal

25. Organize my hall closets

26. Go apple picking

27. Stop drinking soda for 3 months and see what happens

28. Pay off someone’s layaway at Christmas

29. Learn how to play chess

30.  Use a chainsaw

31. Wild Card! (Do something spontaneous)

Yes, that's right, I put "spontenaeity" on my list of things to do.  This just means that I want to always be looking for something fun and spontaneous to do.  Maybe it will be flying somewhere, maybe I'll start a food fight, maybe I'll ride in a hot air balloon....I'm leaving #31 open for the moment!

If you haven't made a list, I whole-heartedly encourage you to! If you haven't read why I decided to make a list last year, check out my first blog post, "The Beginning". 


*I reserve the right to amend my list whenever I darn well please.